David Paterson

He once protested George Pataki's enforcement of the Rockefeller drug laws. He was arrested for his efforts. David Paterson is now the governor of New York State.

I rarely drink. I do not smoke tobacco. My only experience with marijuana is when I once got a contact high and then made an omelet in a George Foreman grill. I freaked the fuck out at the suggestion of ecstasy use.

Kim wants me to trip on acid with Cassie and watch "Zardoz". Look it up. I think that would be a very bad idea.

Any way, to be fair, I am not what you would call a "substance enthusiast". So, with that in mind...

The drug war is an epic failure. Mexico is on the brink of collapse due to its failure, Colombia is in fact two countries: a narco-state and a puppet government propped up by American tax dollars, and Afghanistan is the world leader in opium production, and its profits fund the warlords that are killing American GIs and our NATO allies.

We are fighting a war on a military tactic and a war on commercial products. Think about that for a second.

Any way, that's my rant for today.

Jeff Hanneman

Do I really need to explain why he's this entry's title?

All right, so T-rex was listening to Slayer on his Ipod while disemboweling a struthiomimus, right? Suddenly, the battery goes dead. This pisses T-rex off to no end, because first of all, plugging in an Ipod with short little T-rex arms is a royal bitch, and power outlets are at a premium in the fucking cretaceous.

Any ways, while T-rex is pissing and moaning about his bad luck, the nearly dead struthiomimus, noticing that T-rex is distracted, grabs his guts and squeezes, thereby shitting all over and inside himself. Just to give a big fucking finger to the so-called greatest land predator ever to walk the earth.

Please... T-Rex is the greatest land predator? Two Words: Ted Nugent.

When T-rex sees what has happened, oh, man. You have not heard swearing until you have heard a pissed off, dinner deprived, Slayer deprived, 18 foot tall sauropod swear. Seriously. It could have been the "Beowulf" of angry vulgarities.

Any ways, this miasma of hate filled verbiage floated out and over the jungle, until it reached the ears of a pterodactyl. Now pterodactyls are sensitive souls, and the sonic pollution assaulting this poor creature was too much. He fainted dead away, and landed in the middle of a swamp, where he was covered with organic material, and was subsequently fossilized.



And that's what happened to the poor guy above me. So... swear thoughtfully, people.