Violet Grace Arnold.

She was born at 2:36 PM on Wednesday, July 1st, 2009. She weighed 9 pounds, three ounces and was 20.5 inches long. She's beautiful.



:)

Billy Mays

He died, but his spirit and his efforts live on.

So, you might have hated Billy Mays. That's ok. He didn't need your approval. He kept at it, and eventually made it big. Sure, he was loud. I remember waking up from a nap in front of the TV to his booming voice. His style was not for everyone.

But he created his own style, and he kept at it, and he eventually created an empire that will provide for his wife and family. Moreover, his pitching of the many products over the ten years he was on television have secured the jobs of many Americans and relized the dreams of many inventors.

He was an entrepreneur that helped give people a real shot.

I wouldn't mind if Violet grew up to be kind of like him. Oh, that's right. I am becoming a biological father tomorrow.

I have no idea what I am doing.

Luke, customer service rep from AT&T

The following is an abbreviated, paraphrased conversation between myself and Luke.

LUKE: --uke,how may I help you today?

ME: Was it Luke?

L: Yes.

M: Hi Luke. I got an offer for your service, at promotional prices. I would like to know if you can make those promotional prices permanent. It doesn't make sense for me to switch providers and pay the same six months from now.

L: I cannot personally offer that, and those are AT&T guidelines--

M: Are these guidelines rules from like the FCC?

L: No.

M: Then they can be changed. If you cannot do it, I would like to speak to someone who can.

L: Unfortunately no supervisors that could authorize that are currently here, could I have your telephone number so that a supervisor can call you back?

M: (I give him my phone number and full name)

L: Thank you for calling AT&T. We value you as a customer.

M: Thank you for your customer service.

****

Either Luke is a lying bastard, and needed to get me off the line as soon as possible, or I am going to get a call before five o'clock.

Krissy Face

She is doing a photo 365 project at her blog. http://ferrtileblog.blogspot.com is the address. Be there or be square.

So... Kim gave me a shirt that says "autistic kids rock", along with an illustration of an autistic kid rocking... in a corner. I rather like it, but I don't think I should wear it to work. Some of our patrons are autistic as well, and I really don't want to hurt their feelings, especially since I am representing the commons.

Kim feels that if anyone were to be offended, the fact that I am on the autistic spectrum would mitigate the effects.

What do you guys think?

Logan Galang

He is the son of one of my dearest friends, and is one day old.

So... I'm doing the yoga. It's an introduction into Hatha Yoga, by the way, Cassie. I like the stretching, and the balancing, and the pushing myself aspect of it. The whole Ann Arbor hippie vibe... well, it's all right. I mean, I can dig the whole "take it easy while at the same time engage your presence in the universe" sort of thing, and yoga is thousands of years old for a reason. I don't know. I suppose my working-class back ground is keeping me from buying into it without examination.

Any way, We did the poses and the stretching and the breathing, then the corpse pose. Then, our instructor sent us out to observe our wooded, pastoral campus for twenty minutes, and then draw what we saw after wards. I mean, I am digging it... but I really want to ridicule it at the same time.

Kim and I are doing ok, I think. I love her very much, and I am trying to be the guy. I don't know how well of a job I really am accomplishing though...

Michael Reynolds

He build passive solar homes that use sustainable building materials. You can find his work at earthship.net.

I think I am going to save up to buy the water reclamation kit for this house. That ought to save us a bundle...

Samantha Bee

She is an asshole.

Samantha Bee gained marginal fame on "The Daily Show" as a "Chief (whatever) Correspondent". Any way, she is trying to turn that fame into cash through commercial endorsements. So, what? That's what entertainers are supposed to do, right? How does this make her an asshole?

She tried to make me eat shit.

See, whats she is dong nowadays is going about the country to "Hidden Valleys", some of them towns, some of them golf courses, and feeding people Kraft ranch. Obviously, since these are commercial messages, the people of the Hidden Valleys all love Kraft ranch dressing. No big surprise, and the whole "Hidden Valley" connection is a sideways swipe at the leader of the ranch dressing market. It seems clever enough for an entertainer's endorsement, right? Well... there's just one small problem.

Kraft ranch dressing tastes like shit. It is what I would feed terror suspects if I wanted them to suffer. I would shake a bottle in their face, and the motherfuckers would strap themselves down and throw water on their faces.

Samantha Bee, if you ever read this, let me be absolutely clear. I hope you get lost in the wilderness and break your leg. I hope that you have to drag yourself and your necrotic, gangrenous limb through thick brush for days. I hope that when you do find a clearing, it is populated by a pack of starving wolves, and that the last thing that goes through your mind while they are tearing at your flesh is, "someone thought this was a just punishment for my sins".

I hope all of that happens, because you tried to make me eat shit.

Ron Paul

So, have you seen these "action text" things before? They're pretty sweet.