Paris Hilton

Death by Necrotizing fasciitis is too good for her. I hope she dies in a fire, and not from smoke inhalation, either.

Ok, So, I bought this old rug at a yard sale, right? I put it down in the basement of my parents old house, which they are trying to sell. Any ways, It has been particularly humid thes past few days, and when you combine that with me forgetting to turn on the dehumidifier, you get an old rug that, although on the surface appeared clean, was chock a block full of dried urine, getting mildly moist, which allowed the urine to leach out and create interesting patterns upon it and the floor.

Run on sentences aside, I had to clean that mother fucker. So, I pulled it off of the floor, and put it on the driveway. I then took my garden hose to it. Then I put Tide detergent powder on it. An old rug shampooer, really just two rotating circular brushes and a water tank was used to suds up the rug. I used too much Tide, and had a veritable mountain of suds.

I had to rinse it out three times, in between using the rug shampooer to agitate the soap up. After that, I rolled it up, and threw it on the roof of the garage. Water weighs about eight pounds a gallon. Getting that rug on the roof was... difficult. To the artisan who made the rug; I didn't really mean that about your mother, or your pets.

Any ways, I put an old Igloo cooler underneath the rug to catch the drips. Water should never be orange.

After it stopped dripping, I pulled it down (again, I really didn't mean it, sir or madam) and unfurled it, and used my Shop-Vac to suck out more of the moisture. I am going to let it dry in the sun tomorrow, and then I will use my Dyson vacuum cleaner on it. After I use my Swiffer Wet Jet on the floor, boyakasha, baby.

Any ways, that's what I did today.