Jeff Hanneman

Do I really need to explain why he's this entry's title?

All right, so T-rex was listening to Slayer on his Ipod while disemboweling a struthiomimus, right? Suddenly, the battery goes dead. This pisses T-rex off to no end, because first of all, plugging in an Ipod with short little T-rex arms is a royal bitch, and power outlets are at a premium in the fucking cretaceous.

Any ways, while T-rex is pissing and moaning about his bad luck, the nearly dead struthiomimus, noticing that T-rex is distracted, grabs his guts and squeezes, thereby shitting all over and inside himself. Just to give a big fucking finger to the so-called greatest land predator ever to walk the earth.

Please... T-Rex is the greatest land predator? Two Words: Ted Nugent.

When T-rex sees what has happened, oh, man. You have not heard swearing until you have heard a pissed off, dinner deprived, Slayer deprived, 18 foot tall sauropod swear. Seriously. It could have been the "Beowulf" of angry vulgarities.

Any ways, this miasma of hate filled verbiage floated out and over the jungle, until it reached the ears of a pterodactyl. Now pterodactyls are sensitive souls, and the sonic pollution assaulting this poor creature was too much. He fainted dead away, and landed in the middle of a swamp, where he was covered with organic material, and was subsequently fossilized.



And that's what happened to the poor guy above me. So... swear thoughtfully, people.